Bit Gen Gamer Fest

Today, August 14, was devoted equally to both nerding out and rocking out (cock-in I should note) at the Bit Gen Gamer Fest at Sonar in Baltimore. This festival (though I don't believe "festival" truly encapsulates everything that transpired there) was devoted to gaming culture and showcased 11 of the biggest names in video game music - and those are big names indeed. They are also extremely nerdy names. These names were, in order (or as best as I can remember it):

1. Armadillo Tank
2. Rare Candy
3. Ultraball
4. Year 200X
5. The X Hunters
6. The OneUps
7. This Place Is Haunted
8. The Megas
9. Entertainment System
10. The Protomen
11. Powerglove

The event was MC'ed by none other than Brentalfloss (no, I have no clue who he is either). DJ Cutman was also spinning in the merchandise room. In the main room, there were a number of arcade cabinets set on free play. It was truly a unique experience playing Excitebike and Marble Madness at a rock concert. There was also a wall of consoles set up with comfy couches, but I would venture a guess that those were occupied by the same people the entire night, so I never even got near those. They also had Super Smash Bros. set up on a projection screen in the merchandise room.

I won't go into detail about every single act - in fact, I didn't even see every single act. I will discuss the ones that were the most notable.

Armadillo Tank, the first act, certainly had me intrigued by their name. See, when I hear the phrase "Armadillo Tank," there's only one thing that comes to mind:

Why yes, that is the cover of the 1971 Emerson, Lake & Palmer album Tarkus. I thought, "Surely, this is a coincidence. There's no way I'm listening to a video game music band named after an obscure progressive rock album." Unfortunately, my enthusiasm for the band's music was decidedly less than my enthusiasm for their nomenclature. Well, I should rephrase that: the music was actually decent, but it was completely ruined by their vocalist, who had absolutely no business being on that or any stage. What was she doing there, other than ruining what could have been a good thing? They should have just handed her a cowbell or a tambourine - anything to get the microphone out of her chubby hands.

The story regarding Armadillo Tank does not end there, however. Later, after their set, I was walking through the merchandise room and stopped by their table. The reason I stopped there was because the Armadillo Tank table was being wo-manned by the bass player, who was hot. I wanted to strike up conversation, but I didn't want to come right out and ask her what was on mind.

So instead I just asked, "So...Armadillo Tank? How'd you come up with that name?"

She starts to reply, "Well, I don't know if you've ever heard of the band Emerson, Lake & Palmer - "

"YES!" I exclaimed, probably more jubilantly than I should have. But I really was that excited - after all, what were the odds of meeting a hot female bass player who not only likes ELP, but likes them enough to name a band after one of their lesser-known albums? I was so thrilled I told her about my idea to get a tattoo of the Tarkus, uncaring of how stupid that sounded.

Now I was in a bit of an awkward position though. After all, at this point I was pretty much obligated to buy something. Unfortunately, there was absolutely no way I was going to purchase their CD. Instead, I used my last $5 to purchase the Armadillo Tank t-shirt. Now, I can walk around the world with this shirt on, and when people come up and ask me "Armadillo Tank? What's that?" I can answer, "Oh, it's a band that I don't really like."

Allow me to back up for a moment and enlighten those who may be confused about what I mean when I talk about video game music (henceforth referred to as VGM) bands. It's actually not as self-evident as the label would suggest; like "indie rock," VGM encompasses a wide variety of musical styles, from 8-bit electronica to ska to metal. Another important distinction is that not all VGM bands simply covers of songs from video games. A number of bands, e.g. The Protomen (more on them later), write original songs whose lyrics are inspired by video games. For the Harry Potter fans, this would be comparable to wrock bands.

I'll run down the other bands that actually left an impression on me. Rare Candy I had seen previously when I saw them open for The Protomen at the Metro Gallery in Baltimore back in the spring. Their lineup consists of a drummer, a bass player (who shreds in another VGM band Entertainment System), and two keyboard players, which for some reasons strikes me as awesome. When I saw Rare Candy the first time, I liked them enough that I actually bought one of their CDs. They do straight up covers of 8-bit video game songs, but they rock so hard that I can actually excuse their drummer for playing in a Pikachu costume.

We left to get some food just as Ultraball began "performing." They were a band only in the loosest sense possible, as their act appeared to consist solely of two dudes in Pokemon costumes screaming the in the faces of the audience. They didn't even bother getting on the stage. We also missed Year 200X and returned just after The X Hunters had started playing. They played frantic guitar-driven covers of Mega Man songs and appear to be fairly new to the scene. I was strongly considering buying their CD.

The OneUps did not leave much of an impression on me. They boldly proclaimed at the beginning of their set that they are the only band who play "video game music you can have sex to." I was skeptical, and while they certainly weren't bad, they didn't really live up to this lofty ambition.

The next band, on the other hand, definitely left an impression on me. They were called This Place Is Haunted and they performed perhaps the most random set list I have ever heard. They opened with a medley of 80's TV theme songs, which included: Duck Tales, Inspector Gadget, Full House, and Ren and Stimpy. They also played a couple Disney songs ("Under the Sea" and "Prince Ali"). And, of course, a generous helping of video game songs, including selections from the classic games Castlevania and Chrono Trigger (one of the greatest RPGs of all time, I might add).

The Megas, like The X Hunters, play songs based solely on the Mega Man games. Unlike The X Hunters, they play rock songs with Mega Man-inspired lyrics. This sounds a lot like The Protomen, but unlike that band, The Megas weren't that good. They suffered from the same problem that Armadillo Tank had (though not to as great a degree), i.e. solid music muddled by shoddy vocals. I really don't understand why so many bands insist on relying on a sub-par singer when they would really be much better off as a purely instrumental band (*cough* Dream Theater *cough*).

Finally, I get to the last two bands (we didn't stay for Powerglove, so I can't speak to them) and to where shit got out of hand. As soon as The Megas left the stage, my friends and I made our way towards the front so that we would be in a prime position to see The Protomen. The band preceding them was called Entertainment System, and they were certainly the heaviest of all the acts that performed. The guys could certainly shred, I'll give them that. Unfortunately, at this point the drunkest of those in attendance completely abandoned propriety and began moshing. Now, those of you who may scoff at the idea of a mosh pit at a VGM concert probably don't realize that a lot of nerds are also metal-heads and metal-heads love to mosh. There was some moshing at the Rare Candy/Protomen show, but it was nothing compared to what happened at Bit Gen.

Now, after Entertainment System left the stage, I think The Protomen realized that this might be a problem during their set and so, while they were setting up (which took nearly an hour), their personal MC/cheerleader K.I.L.R.O.Y. attempted to rid the crowd of their excess energy and also get them excited for the band by leading an impromptu dance-off and then a train around the club led by the winner of said dance-off. Unfortunately, the moshing actually got worse, so much so that it almost ruined the show. The moshers were even moshing during songs that were completely inappropriate for moshing. I'm not even sure they were paying attention to the music at this point.

Directly in front of me was a short, stout dude wearing a backwards cap and a button-up shirt. The first time that a mosher inadvertantly slammed into him, this meaty dude grabbed the mosher by the collar and shouted in his face, "If you fucking touch me again I'll fucking kill you!" This seemed such an exaggerated reaction to me that I actually thought this guy was joking, that he would suddenly grin and go, "Nah, I'm just messing with you." This did not happen. As the moshing got more and more out of control, this guy got angrier and angrier. Any time moshing caused him to so much as have to shift his weight, he would turn back and glare at the moshers with a look of such frightening intensity that I really thought he was going to just dive into the middle of the mosh pit and start swinging. The second time this guy had to grab a mosher and yell in his face, I genuinely believed that the concert was about to devolve into a brawl with this dude at the center. But ultimately, Angry Dude had more common sense and left the crowd before things got violent.

As for The Protomen...well, they were still awesome, of course. But I'm glad that wasn't my first time seeing them, since the constant moshing made it very difficult to pay attention. As this post has already gotten quite lengthy, I won't go into a full description of the band. Instead I'll just direct you to their official website and their Wikipedia page.

Anyways, Bit Gen Gamer Fest was a lively and spirited time had by all. I will definitely be attending next year as well as the Magfest coming up in January. I hope that, for those of you for whom this is a completely unfamiliar concept, you will check out some of these bands and perhaps become a convert to the VGM scene. I mean, video games are great and music is great, so what could be greater than combining the two?