The following request is going to require some explanation: could we all please just stop making fun of Twilight? Now, lest you believe that I make this request out of respect for the series or its fans, let me quickly back-peddle a bit and state unequivocally that I acknowledge this series for the unholy abomination that it truly is (as this personal tragedy demonstrates).That being said, I have never actually read any of the books nor seen any of the movies (nor do I have any intention of doing either). This, of course, prevents me from offering any direct literary analysis of my own. Frankly, my ambivalence towards Twilight is such that I am not even interested in critiquing the series.
Recently, I made a Facebook status update expressing that "I could not possibly care less about the World Cup." A few wise guys commented that such a statement was contradictory since if I really was that apathetic about the World Cup I wouldn't bother to make a post about it in the first place. I concede that they have a point. Since I can already see people leveling similar criticism towards the nature of this post, let me reiterate that my purpose in writing this post is not to complain about Twilight itself; I am instead writing about the meme that bashing the series has become.
To describe the general reaction of people on the Internet to Twilight as a "backlash" would be tantamount to calling the Holocaust a "misunderstanding." Such is the enmity towards this series that entire websites exist devoted solely to the purpose of bashing it. It has reached the point where I find anti-Twilight sentiment just as aggravating as pro-Twilight sentiment - actually, more so, since while I have never actually had to endure the torturous ordeal that I imagine a conversation with a rabid Twilight fan to be, I am constantly exposed to Twilight haters all over the Internet and in real life. I get it, Internet - real vampires don't sparkle. I know this. Everyone know this. I am certain that even fans of Twilight know this. I'd even be willing to bet (though not much) that Stephanie Meyer knows this.
We need to stop the Internet from transforming into nothing more than glorified soap box from which to denounce a single book series. The main reason I implore people to cease the constant complaining about Twilight (besides how annoying it is) is that making fun of Twilight fans - like making fun of the handicapped - is both painfully easy and ultimately not very fulfilling. To paraphrase a quote by Reverend Al Sharpton, at this point Twilight fans should get our prayers more than our responses.
Look, I'm not saying that anyone needs to stop hating Twilight. I'm just saying that maybe we can tone down the rage just a bit. I don't care how many message board threads you start or how many incoherent Youtube comments you leave, Twilight and its adherents are not going to simply go away. Also, the only thing that all of this hate-spewing accomplishes is putting Twilight fans on the defensive, spurring them to protest even more vocally about how great Twilight is and how "you don't even know." I know, from personal experience, that nothing is more grating and intrusive than a nerd who feels that his favorite series has been slighted. If we just ignore Twilight fans and let them live in their little fantasy world, we'll all be happier for it.
We're just going to have to accept that Twilight is (and it physically pains me to say this) now as entrenched in popular culture as Star Wars and Lord of the Rings are. The only real permanent solution I can see is for someone to invent time travel, go back in time, and takes one for the team by giving Stephanie Meyer the thorough dicking that she probably needed. Because, clearly, anyone who writes a series like Twilight is not getting any.
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